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a police officer saw a car speeding...
A police officer saw a car speeding down the highway.

He started chasing after the speeder . When he got close he's saw it was a blonde woman who was actually knitting while driving.

The cop yelled, "Pull over!"

The blonde shouted back, "No! It's a sweater!"

a prayer before dying
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
a real wangsta
Q: What did the left leg say to the right leg?

A: That one in the middle thinks he's hard

a redneck taped paper to his television...
A redneck taped toilet paper to his television.

He said, "Hey, lookie here, now we have free paper view!"


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