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Whatever


logical nun
 
 
A nun was telling some other nuns about how she was almost attacked by a man the night before. They all wanted to know how she managed to escape. 'It was easy,' she said, 'I stopped and pulled my dress up.'

Shocked, the other nuns said, 'And then what?!'

'He pulled his pants down,' the nun replied.

'And then what?!' cried the unbelieving nuns.

'And then I ran,' she said. 'After all, a nun with her dress up can run much faster than a man with his pants down.'

holding it in
 
 
What do you call someone who doesn't fart in public?

A private tutor!
my favorite grade school joke
 
 
What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck!
the trouble with dirty old men
 
 
An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out. A young jogger comes by and asks him what is the matter.

The old man says, "I'm a multimillionare, I have a great big house, the fastest car in the world and I just married a beautiful blonde bombshell who satisfies me every night in bed whether I like it or not (sob)."

The young jogger says, "Man, you have everything I have ever dreamed for in my life. What could be so wrong in your life that you are sitting here in the park crying?"

The old man says, "I can't remmber where I live."


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