Whatever

Jokes » whatever » humor 13

Whatever


the three nuns
 
 
Three nuns die, but they all have to answer one question to get into heaven. The first nun is asked who the first man on earth was. She replies, 'Oh that's easy, Adam!' Lights flash and the pearly gates open.

The second nun is asked 'Who was the first woman on earth?' she says, 'That's easy, Eve!' Lights flash and the gates open.

The Third nun is asked, 'What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?' The nun is puzzled and can't figure it out, so she says, 'That's a hard one.' Lights flash up and the pearly gates open.
lost & found
 
 
One day, on a notice board, a message was written:

'A parker pn lost if found plz return to me' The next day, another notice was put up:

'If anybody finds an E plz add it to the spelling of PEN'
you know you drink too much coffee when...
 
 
  1. Juan Valdez names his mule after you.
  2. You chew on your roommate's fingernails.
  3. You can jump-start your car without cables.
  4. You do twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
  5. You can't remember your second cup.
  6. You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
  7. Starbucks has a mortgage on your house.
  8. Your birthday is a national holiday in Columbia.
  9. You don't sweat - you percolate.
  10. You grind coffee beans in your mouth.
get on the bus
 
 
A man comes home from work and finds his wife screwing his cousin in the closet.
'What the hell are you doing?!' the man asks.
'I'm riding a bus,' his cousin replies.
'That's a stupid thing to say!'
'That's a stupid thing to ask!'

Page 14 of 497     «« Previous | Next »»