new driver's license
Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver.
"I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father.
"Nope," comes dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years."
"I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father.
"Nope," comes dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years."
new ticket technology
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo-of handcuffs.
now he's in trouble
A police officer had just pulled a car over. When he walked up to the car a man rolled down the window and said, "what's the problem officer?"
To which the policeman responded, "I stopped you for running that red light behind you." Just then the man's wife leaned forward from the driver's seat and said with a very loud voice, "I told him to stop at that light. But did he listen? No. He just kept right on going."
The man then turned to his wife and yelled "Shut up stupid!" The policeman continued, "And just before the light I clocked you doing 50 m.p.h. and the speed limit is only 30." His wife then leaned forward again and squawked "I told him to slow down. But did he listen to me. No! He never listens to me."
And again the man shouted at his wife "Listen stupid, I told you to SHUT UP!"
The policeman then looked at the woman and said "does he always talk to you this way?"
To which the woman responed, "Only when he has been drinking."
The man then turned to his wife and yelled "Shut up stupid!" The policeman continued, "And just before the light I clocked you doing 50 m.p.h. and the speed limit is only 30." His wife then leaned forward again and squawked "I told him to slow down. But did he listen to me. No! He never listens to me."
And again the man shouted at his wife "Listen stupid, I told you to SHUT UP!"
The policeman then looked at the woman and said "does he always talk to you this way?"
To which the woman responed, "Only when he has been drinking."
on a truck's mudflaps
Seen on rear mud-flaps of a large truck left mud-flap right mud-flap Passing Side Suicide /| | / ------ ------ ------ ------ / | |/ El Paso El Cruncho (spanish) (spanish)
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