travel jokes

1. The "complimentary" paper tells you that President Kennedy has died.
2. The mint on the pillow starts moving when you come close to it.
3. The "magic fingers vibration" is supplied by giving a quarter to the town epileptic.
4. There is still some stuff that they put around crime scenes that is yellow
5. The pictures are not placed for decoration but to cover up recent bullet holes.
6. You have to wait until the guy next door is done with the towel so you can use it.
7. There's a chalk outline in the bed when you pull back the covers.
8. The desk clerk has to move the body in order to get some ice for you.
9. The Only TV station you can get is a porno channel with roseanne on it.
10. The wake up call comes courtesy of police helicopter.

1. You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
2. You can say 110 degrees without fainting.
3. You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
4. You can make instant sun tea.
5. You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
6. The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
7. You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
8. You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
9. You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
10. Hot water now comes out of both taps.
11. It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
12. You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
13. You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
14. No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
15. Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
16. You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

Seen on rear mud-flaps of a large truck

left mud-flap		right mud-flap

Passing Side		Suicide
 /|         		     |
/ ------    		------ 
 ------     		------ /
 |         		     |/
El Paso			El Cruncho
(spanish)		(spanish)