thinnest books around
Thinnest Books
- The Book Of Virtues By Bill Clinton
- The Amish Phone Directory
- Mike Tyson's Guide To Dating Etiquette
- George Foreman's Big Book Of Baby Names
- French Hospitality
- Everything Women Know About Men
- Everything Men Know About Women
- Dr. Kevorkian's Collection Of Motivational Speeches
- Different Ways To Spell Bob
- Career Opportunities For Liberal Arts Majors
- America's Most Popular Lawyers
- Amelia Earhart's Guide To The Pacific Ocean
- The Wild Years-By Al Gore
- Things I Would Not Do For Money-By Dennis Rodman
- Human Rights Advances In China
- To All The Men I've Loved Before-By Ellen Degeneres
- The Engineer's Guide To Fashion
- My Plan To Find The Real Killers-By O. J. Simpson
- How To Land A Plane At Martha's Vineyard - By Jfk, Jr.
time to do the laundry
The Top 10 Signs That Its Time To Do The Laundry
- You're wearing your last pair of underwear in the shower consistently.
- You've worn your sheets to school because you can't get them off of you.
- Your socks act like a shirt does when its heavily starched and emit a serious funk.
- Your roommate walks around wearing a full body medical suit like they did in the movie "Outbreak" to avoid catching the Ebola virus.
- The Snuggle Bear on the softener bottle officially died last week.
- The DEA's drug sniffing dog is always coming by to sniff your laundry because the strong stench makes him think you have 28 tons of pot in your closet.
- Even after sewing 28 spring scented dryer sheets to the inside of your shirt, your friends still say you reek.
- The phrase "Wash Me" is visibly written in your jeans.
- Your red T-shirt is now green.
- The boss pulls you aside to remind you that your company's casual days does not include your college graduation gown and scuba diving fins.
to do at the drivethru
Top twenty things to do at a drivethru
- Drive through the drive thru in reverse and let your passenger order.
- Ask prices of everything on the menu then order something that you did not ask the price for.
- Pretend like your window is broken. Tell the employee this. Order with your door open, pay with your door open. Roll down window and take food through the window.
- Go to McDonalds and demand a big breakfast at 11:30 at night. Put up a fight.
- Pay for a large order in pennies and nickels unwrapped.
- Order in another language. Be careful what neighborhood you are in.
- When asked if they can take your order, tell them you are just window shopping and drive on.
- Laugh sadistically when asked if you would like ketchup.
- Ask how they fit into that little box.
- If they make you wait, make them wait when they come back on.
- Demand to speak to the manager. When he comes on, complain that you did not like the way the employee said "May I take your order?"
- When asked if they can take your order say "No, why can't I take yours?"
- If they ask you to wait, order anyway and keep doing it till they yell at you.
- Pretend like your car broke down. Ask for assistance in moving it. When they come out, drive away.
- Tell them you have to use the bathroom.
- Order a cup of water and two napkins. That's it.
- Don't order when they come on. Just sit there. If a line forms behind you, get out of the car and cause a scene.
- When they hand you your food, hand them a bag back with all the trash from your car in it.
- Just stare at them when you pay and get your food. Don't break your stare.
- Honk your horn the whole way through the line.
to do in space station
The Top 10 Things To Do While Confined In A Space Station
- Roll down the window and throw beer cans at passing satellites.
- Play some rather boring games of Solitaire.
- Try to bust that myth of Lays Potato Chips: Betcha Can't Eat Just One!
- Come up with as many wacky Top 10 List Topics as possible so Top 10 Boy will have work to do into the New Year.
- When the NASA camera is off, dance around to "Blue Jean" by David Bowie while wearing just your space helmet.
- Do what everyone else does, write out all of your postcards..mail them when you get home.
- Don't move, don't touch anything and if you break something, know that you will be blamed mercilessly for it and shunned by society to a Gulag in a remote part of Northern Siberia (Russian Space Station only).
- Access www.spacebabes.com on NASA's computer instead of doing those meaningless space experiments.
- Call Martian Escort Service..hope like hell they take American Express.
- Watch All of Pauly Shore's movies...try to find examples of humor, plot and a reason for making it.
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