top ten lists

1. Act out your version of a company takeover.

2. Find a way to change everyone's password to "chrysanthemum".

3. Around 3:20am, play connect-the-dots with lights still on in other office buildings. Keep going until you see a small woodland creature.

4. Sneaking in the boss's desk could land you an unexpected promotion.

5. Draw stick people in all the landscape pictures on the walls, and in the morning, be the first to point out "what a terrible thing that someone did this to such beautiful works of art".

6. Go into the other gender's bathroom without fear of being caught.

7. Run up and down the hallways screaming, hoping security will come so you can have someone to talk to.

8. Leave prank messages on the CEO's voice mail.

9. Finally, a chance to live out a dream and pretend to be your boss.

10. Elevator surfing!

Recalled Christmas Toys

1. Broken Bag-O-Glass
   
   
2. Dr. Kevorkian First Aid Kit
   
   
3. Jeffrey Domhers Easy Bake oven and cookbook
   
   
4. Timothy McVays home Chemistry set
   
   
5. Switchblade Barney
   
   
6. Pork-n-Beany Babies
   
   
7. Make your own moonshine kit
   
   
8. Mike Tyson Doll (with ear biting action)
   
   

The Top Recently Rejected Saturday Morning Cartoons

1. "Billy, the Homicidal Smurf."
   
   
2. "Scooby and Shaggy Go To The Retirement Home."
   
   
3. "Archie, the Abcessed Tooth."
   
   
4. "Yosemite Sam...UNCENSORED!"
   
   
5. "The Golden Girls meet The Power Rangers."
   
   
6. "Da Boys in Mister Rogers Neighborhood."
   
   
7. "The Land of The Lost...The Barney Years."
   
   
8. "COPS" in full color animation!
   
   

The Top 10 Signs That Santa Has Been Drinking

1. While your child is on his lap, he tells them they're not getting his Bud Light.
   
   
2. You see his sleigh pulled over and the police with a breathlyzer.
   
   
3. Those darn milk and cookies never worked but the Jack Daniels does!
   
   
4. You don't remember getting a request for venison in your stocking.
   
   
5. Betty Ford releases him on December 24th.
   
   
6. After each child, he has a Jello Shot.
   
   
7. This year the sleigh is being pulled by the Schlitz Malt Liquor Bull.
   
   
8. He jumps down a manhole and then gets angry when he can't find the tree.
   
   
9. Instead of going Onward, Dancer and Prancer...he just grumbles and says "Awww...just get going!"