bad to say at funerals
Top Things You Should Not Say At A Funeral
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- Geez, what died in here?
- He looks natural but those shoes do not go with that dress.
- Nice service...where's the keg?
- When did he die...really...hey Bob, you won the pool!!!
- Hey, we're with the Publisher Clearing House Prize Patrol and we're looking for...oh, never mind.
- Don't look now Fred but you and the deceased have the exact same suit on.
- You know they touched that body up cause that shark has one of them legs.
- Not to cause panic or anything but something is leaking out of that casket.
internet crime heroes
The Top 10 Superheroes Needed To Fight Cybercrime
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- Inspector Gadget
- Chief Wiggum from the Simpsons
- Captain America On Line
- The Wonder Barbi Twins
- The Silver Surfer
- The XXX Men(they handle strictly cyber porn)
- Up in the sky, wearing glasses, a big letter E on his chest and a "Nets"cape, its Bill Gates as GEEKMAN!!!
- DBase Ventura
- Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy and Scooby with the Mystery Machine( Jinkies, there goes another hacker!!)
- Who else knows the web better than Spiderman???
you have a boring job
The Top Signs That You Have A Boring Job
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- You're introduced to everyone as "The Minesweeper God".
- You have visited every website in the world.
- You're the Spelling Bee Coordinator in rural Alabama.
- You are the only one that is ready for the rush of ticket sales for that New Kids on the Block reunion tour.
- You're able to pull staples out of papers with your teeth.
- Your doctor says that he's never seen someone exposed to so much photocopier radiation in his life.
- You've seen the late night commercial for the Chia Dildo.
- Your workload is so intense that you can write Top 10 lists all day long.
- In your 10 years on the force as an Amish Traffic Cop, you have not had to write one single speeding ticket.
excuses for speeding
The Top Bad Excuses For Speeding
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- "This is my tryout for Nascar."
- "I've got to get back to Amish Country before they realize that I am missing."
- "That McDonald's offer is for a Limited Time only and buddy, that could run out at ANYTIME!"
- "I'm trying to rush home for the new Hanson video debut on MTV."
- "Cause those Gorditas rule."
- "Uh-Oh..Wapner's on...I'm an excellent driver."
- "Trying to see how fast a Yugo can go."
- "Umm..I'm drunk?"
- "Trying to outrun the radio signal that is playing that lousy Alannis Morisette "Uninvited" song!"
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