don't say to a judge
Top Things You Should Not Say To A Judge
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- "I got your community service right here pal!"
- "Boy your chamber sure does look different with the lights on."
- "You couldn't carry Wapner's gavel you moron!"
- "You're not as easy to buy as others said you were."
- "No you robe wearing geek."
- "I don't suppose there's a "You get me off, I get you off" type of deal out there?"
- "Just out of curiousity, are you wearing pants?"
well, how do i look?
The Top Bad Response For Guys To Give To The "How Do I Look" Question
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- "That's a great outfit honey but Halloween was 6 weeks ago."
- "I ain't seen a caboose that big since Amtrak left town."
- "Uh-uh, the last time I answered that question, I went temporarily blind."
- "Ssshhh, the games on right now..go look in the mirror, that's what its there for!!"
- "Oh man, I'm gonna lose my lunch."
- "Like the girl I was with yesterday."
- "Like someone in dire need for some liposuction."
- "Well, if I close my eyes, just like my previous, prettier girlfriend."
- "How can I put this...MOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
bad at an office party
The Top Don'ts At The Office Christmas Party
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- Don't go up to your boss and make the comparison of him with Santa because he's fat, jolly and only works one day out of the year.
- Don't put your boss in a sleeper hold just to bargain for a better salary.
- Don't offer anyone a hit from your Egg-Nog funnel.
- Don't call your best client and tell him how much you fudged his books by just so you could throw this party in the first place.
- Don't chase the secretary around with mistletoe and an eggbeater.
- Don't tell your boss that you're the one that runs the company.
santa must be drinking
The Top 10 Signs That Santa Has Been Drinking
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- While your child is on his lap, he tells them they're not getting his Bud Light.
- You see his sleigh pulled over and the police with a breathlyzer.
- Those darn milk and cookies never worked but the Jack Daniels does!
- You don't remember getting a request for venison in your stocking.
- Betty Ford releases him on December 24th.
- After each child, he has a Jello Shot.
- This year the sleigh is being pulled by the Schlitz Malt Liquor Bull.
- He jumps down a manhole and then gets angry when he can't find the tree.
- Instead of going Onward, Dancer and Prancer...he just grumbles and says "Awww...just get going!"
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