top ten lists

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top ten lists


broker market crash
 
 
The Top 10 Signs Your Broker Was Affected by the Stock Market Crash

  1. "He can't come to the phone right now..he's on the ledge."

  2. "He won't be in today...he was made an offer and he refused."

  3. "He left the building and not via the elevator..if you catch my drift."

  4. "I'm sorry, sir..she's not in...she's out digging up your can as we speak."

  5. There's a sign on her desk that says "Next Broker Please."

  6. "He's on another line with his Mommy..would you care to hold?"

  7. "No sir, that wasn't him streaking through the Stock Exchange"

  8. "He's meeting with the SEC as we speak."

  9. "I'm sorry, ma'am but that was him being led from the Stock Exchange naked except for the sale tickets stuck to his body via maple syrup."

  10. "Yes sir, that is him in the White Bronco leading the cops down the freeway."

recent cartoon rejects
 
 
The Top Recently Rejected Saturday Morning Cartoons

  1. "Billy, the Homicidal Smurf."

  2. "Scooby and Shaggy Go To The Retirement Home."

  3. "Archie, the Abcessed Tooth."

  4. "Yosemite Sam...UNCENSORED!"

  5. "The Golden Girls meet The Power Rangers."

  6. "Da Boys in Mister Rogers Neighborhood."

  7. "The Land of The Lost...The Barney Years."

  8. "COPS" in full color animation!

scary fortune cookies
 
 
The Top 10 Least Desirable Fortunes in a Fortune Cookie

  1. We know where you live.

  2. You will need good reading material in approximately 15 minutes.

  3. Everyone's meal today is on you!

  4. The "special sauce" came from the floor!

  5. Guess what our special "drop" was in our Egg Drop Soup and win a free meal!!

  6. Your colon will self destruct in five seconds.

  7. A recent prison escapee that is sitting near by wants to love you long time.

  8. Your dog Sparky...he's no longer missing.

  9. See the waiter about our new food poison life insurance policies.

  10. MSG? NO!! Ebola Virus....maybe

halloween handouts
 
 
The Top 10 Least Popular Halloween Handouts

  1. Spinach flavored Rice Cakes.

  2. Teeth removing Taffy

  3. Metamucil in a straw

  4. Ex-Lax Brownies

  5. Caramel Covered Zucchini

  6. Colored Crisco on a Stick

  7. Hot steaming bowl of pumpkin guts

  8. Chocolate Covered Prunes

  9. A Handful of Red Man

  10. Anything that ticks!


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