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canucky
Why do Canadians do it doggie-style?

So they don't miss the hockey game.

chicago bears bashing
Did you hear the new penalty for speeding in Illinois?

The first offense they give you Bears tickets and the second offense they make you use them.

chicken on the football field
Why did the chicken run onto the football field?

Because the umpire called a foul.

classic baseball quotes
"It was too bad I wasn't a second baseman; then I'd probably have seen a lot more of my husband."
--Karolyn Rose, ex-wife of Pete Rose, 1981

"It's a weird scene. You win a few baseball games and all of a sudden, you're surrounded by reporters and TV men with cameras asking you about Vietnam and race relations."
--Vida Blue, 1971

"I watch a lot of baseball on the radio."
--Gerald Ford, 1978

"It's a beautiful day for a night game."
--Announcer Frankie Frisch

"The most important things in life are good friends and a strong bull pen."
--Pitcher Bob Lemon, 1981

"Well, that kind of puts a damper on another Yankees win."
--Announcer Phil Rizzuto, after a news bulletin reporting the death of Pope Paul VI, 1978

"They brought me up with the Brooklyn Dodgers, which at time was in Brooklyn."
--Casey Stengel, 1962

"I won't play for a penny less than $1500."
--Honus Wagner, turning down an offer of $2000


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