Baby bear started to cry . "Whats wrong?" the judge asked baby bear.
"I dont want to live with mama bear, she abuses me!" said baby bear.
"Then, you can live with papa bear" said the judge.
Baby bear started to cry even harder the judge asked him, "Whats wrong?" Baby bear replied, " I dont want to live with papa bear he abuses me even more than mama bear does."
"Then who do you want to live with?" asked the judge.
Baby bear replied, "I want to live with the Baylor Bears, because they don't beat anyone!"
Joe said, "But Ted is 80 years old and half senile!"
His wife replied, "Yes, but his eyesight is incredible."
Joe finally agreed and took Ted along. He teed off and could feel that he had hit it solidly. He asked Ted, "Do you see it?"
Ted nodded his head and said, "Boy, that was a beautiful shot!"
Joe excitedly asked, "Well, where did it land?!"
Ted said, "Hmmm. I forget."
His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."
His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber. The other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."
Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief.
"No, I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."
The state trooper!!"
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