Sports

"These fairways seem to be getting longer too," said one of the others.

"The sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them too," said the third senior.

After hearing enough from his senior buddies, the oldest and wisest of the four of them, at 87 years old, piped up and said, "Just be thankful we're still on the right side of the grass!"

"Silver," she said.

"Why not gold?"

"Because I want you to come second for once!"

'Hey, can I get a drink on the house if my dog talks for you?'

'Dogs can't talk, pal. But if you can prove to me yours does, I'll give you a drink. If not, I get to kick your ass.'

'Okay,' says the guy. He turns to his dog. 'Okay fella. Tell me -- what is on top of a house?'

'Roof!' The man turns and smiles at the bartender.

'THAT ain't talking! Any dog can bark!'

'Okay boy. Tell me -- how does sandpaper feel?'

'Ruff!"

'What the hell you tryin' to pull mister?'

'Okay, okay," says the man. "One more question please. Okay buddy, tell me -- who is the greatest ball player who ever lived?'

"Ruth."

The bartender beats the hell out of the guy and throws onto the sidewalk outside of the bar, then throws the dog out next to him. The dog stands up and looks at the guy.

"Geez. Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?"

A: A perfect setup for skeet shooting.