Sports

Two hunters are out on a long day in the forest, when one of them has to take a dump. "Go in the bushes," says the other hunter. "But what'll I use to wipe with?" "Use a dollar bill. That's what I do." So the other hunter goes into the bushes, and comes back with crap all over his hands. "What happened?" asks his friend. "I didn't have a dollar bill so I used four quarters."

Eddie came to work Monday and his co-workers asked him how his weekend was. He said he played a little golf. So his co-worker asked him how well he did.

"I hit two of my best balls," he said.

"Tell me about it," said his co-worker.

"I stepped on a rake."

Two men have been sitting out on a lake all day long, ice fishing. One has been having no luck at all and the other has been pulling fish after fish out of his hole in the ice. The man having no luck finally leans over and asks the other what his secrect is.
"mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm."
"I'm sorry, what did you say?"
"mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm."
"I'm sorry, I still didn't understand you." The successful man spits something into his hand.
"You've got to keep your worms warm."

There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish icefishing. Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win -- they kept pulling out fish after fish. Soon, the blondes got worried and sent over one of their team to see what the brunettes were doing differently. A few minutes later, the blonde comes running back.

"A hole! You need to put a hole in the ice!"