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classic baseball quotes
 
 
"It was too bad I wasn't a second baseman; then I'd probably have seen a lot more of my husband."
--Karolyn Rose, ex-wife of Pete Rose, 1981

"It's a weird scene. You win a few baseball games and all of a sudden, you're surrounded by reporters and TV men with cameras asking you about Vietnam and race relations."
--Vida Blue, 1971

"I watch a lot of baseball on the radio."
--Gerald Ford, 1978

"It's a beautiful day for a night game."
--Announcer Frankie Frisch

"The most important things in life are good friends and a strong bull pen."
--Pitcher Bob Lemon, 1981

"Well, that kind of puts a damper on another Yankees win."
--Announcer Phil Rizzuto, after a news bulletin reporting the death of Pope Paul VI, 1978

"They brought me up with the Brooklyn Dodgers, which at time was in Brooklyn."
--Casey Stengel, 1962

"I won't play for a penny less than $1500."
--Honus Wagner, turning down an offer of $2000

the floor is your friend
 
 
Why should volleyballers work at the cemetery?

They're good at digging!
two fraternity brothers...
 
 
Two fraternity brothers decide to go sailing one afternoon and become lost. After twenty hours with nothing to eat or drink, one of them spots a lamp floating by. He picks it up and a genie pops out. The genie notices the poor condition of the brothers and grants them one wish between the two of them.

After a lot of arguing over who gets the wish, one of them blurts out, "I wish the ocean was made of beer."

Magically, the ocean turns to beer.

Infuriated, the other guy yells, "You idiot! Now we have to piss in the boat!"

canucky
 
 
Why do Canadians do it doggie-style?

So they don't miss the hockey game.


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