Sports

A typical macho man married typical good-looking woman and, after the wedding, laid down the following rules: 'I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect dinner to be on the table unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?'

His new bride said, 'No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there'll be sex here at 7 o'clock every night -- whether you're here or not.'

If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

He's such a dumb jock, that when he was driving to the airport, he saw a sign that read, "Airport Left," and he turned around and went home.

A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up."

He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off.

A week later he returns. His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?"

"Oh yes, great! But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."

"Oh no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box."