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chicago bears bashing
 
 
Did you hear the new penalty for speeding in Illinois?

The first offense they give you Bears tickets and the second offense they make you use them.

dallas cowboys' texas stadium
 
 
Did you know that they are going to change the name of the Dallas Cowboys' Stadium?

It's going to be called Drug Emporium.

bill clinton and senator hillary clinton...
 
 
Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton were at a Yankees game. Before the game began a secret service man came up to him and whispered in his ear.

Bill Clinton suddenly picked up Hillary and threw her out on the field.

The secret service man came running up to him and said, "Mr. President Sir, I think you misunderstood me; I said throw out the first pitch."

philadelphia eagles schedule
 
 

September

15 Gov. Mifflin Jr. High
22 Cub Scout Troop 101
29 PA Blind Academy

October

6 Spanish American War Vets
13 Cripple Children's Home
20 Wernersville State Hospital
27 Girl Scout Troop 353

November

3 PA VD Clinic Post #3
10 Philadelphia Boy's Choir
17 Korean Amputees

Special Monday Night Game
December

9 Utopia Gay Boys

RULE CHANGES FROM LAST YEAR

1. When playing the polio patients, Eagles must not disconnect leg braces.

2. When playing the blind academy, Eagles must not hide the football under their jerseys.

RULES THE SAME AS LAST YEAR

1. A touchdown(this is when the ball is carried over the goal line, for all you Eagle fans that have never seen one) is still worth 6 points.

2. The Eagles will be allowed 20 men on the field at all times.

3. The Eagles will be allowed to substitute with the band members at any time during the course of the game.

4. The Eagles will be allowed 10 time-outs as opposed to 3 for the other team.

5. The Eagles will be awarded a first down for each gain of 3 yards or more.


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