silly jokes jokes

What do you get if you cross a crocodile with a flower?
I don't know, but I'm not going to smell it!

What button won't you find in a tailors shop?
Belly button!

Why didn't the banana snore?
Because it didn't want to wake up the rest of the bunch!

What do you call a man with cow droppings all over his feet?
An incowpoop!

If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make?
Slippers!

Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?
He wanted to find Pluto!

What happened when the wheel was invented?
It caused a revolution!

What stories do the ship captain's children like to hear?
Ferry tales!

Why did Robin Hood only steal from the rich?
Because the poor have nothing worth taking!

Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8!

What's an insect's favourite sport?
Cricket!

What kind of car does Mickey Mouse's wife drive?
A minnie van!

Is this a second hand shop?
Yes Sir Good. Can you fit one to my watch then please!

How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?
By flood lighting!

How do you make milk shake?
Give it a good scare!

Do you know the time?
No, we haven't met yet!

What sleeps at the bottom of the sea?
A kipper!

What lies at the bottom of the sea and shivers?
A nervous wreck!

What soldiers smell of salt and pepper?
Seasoned troopers!

Did you hear about the man who had BO on one side only?
He bought Right Guard, but couldn't find any Left Guard!

What has two humps and is found at the North Pole?
A lost camel!

What is Cheddar Gorge?
A large cheese sandwich!

What happens when you throw a green stone in the red sea?
It gets wet!

Why did the woman take a loaf of bread to bed with her?
To feed her nightmare!

What city cheats at exams?
Peking!

What makes the leaning Tower of Pisa lean?
It doesn't eat much!

Why is Alabama the smartest state in the USA?
Because it has 4 A's and one B!

Who invented fire?
Some bright spark!