sick jokes

Mommy, Mommy! Grandpa's going out!

Well throw some more gasoline on him then.

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Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to go to Australia.

Shut up son and keep swimming.

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Mommy, Mommy! Why are we pushing the car off the cliff?

Shut up son, you'll wake your father.

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Mommy, Mommy! I keep running in circles.

Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.

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Mommy, Mommy! Why's everybody running?

Shut up and reload.

Mommy, Mommy! Why is Daddy zigzagging in the yard?

Shut up and shoot again!

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Mommy, Mommy! I don't wanna visit grandma!

Shut up and keep digging.

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Mommy, Mommy! Can I lick the bowl?

Shut up and flush.

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Mommy, Mommy! I'm sick of learning how to swim!

Shut up or I'll flush it again!

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Mommy, Mommy! It's cold and dark and damp down here.

Shut up or I'll flush it again.

Mommy, Mommy! I don't want hamburgers for supper!

Shut up or I'll grind your other hand.

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Mommy, Mommy! I hate tomato juice!

Shut up and drink it before it clots.

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Mommy, Mommy! What's a vampire?

Shut up and eat your soup before it clots.

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Mommy, Mommy! I don't like tomato soup!

Shut up, we only have it once a month.

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Mommy, Mommy! I hate spaghetti!

Shut up or I'll pull the veins out of your other arm.

Mommy, Mommy! There's something in daddy's eye!

Shut up and eat around it.

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Mommy, Mommy! Why can't we get a garbage compactor?

Shut up and chew!

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Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's too tough!

Shut up and keep chewing!

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Mommy, Mommy! Why can't I play with the other kids?

Shut up and deal.

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Mommy, Mommy! My head hurts!

Shut up and get away from the dart board!