sick jokes

Mommy, Mommy! There's something in daddy's eye!

Shut up and eat around it.

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Mommy, Mommy! Why can't we get a garbage compactor?

Shut up and chew!

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Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's too tough!

Shut up and keep chewing!

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Mommy, Mommy! Why can't I play with the other kids?

Shut up and deal.

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Mommy, Mommy! My head hurts!

Shut up and get away from the dart board!

Mommy, Mommy! My teacher says my head is too big.

Shut up and get your hat from the garage, so your father can bring the car in!

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Mommy, Mommy! Can I play in the sandbox?

Not until I find a better place to bury Daddy.

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Mommy, Mommy! Why can't we give Dad a decent burial?

Shut up and keep flushing.

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Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's on fire!

Shut up and get the marshmallows!

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Mommy, Mommy! Daddy fell in the campfire!

Shut up and get the barbecue sauce!

Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's running down the street!

Shut up and step on the gas!

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Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to see Niagara Falls!

Shut up and get back in the barrel!

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Mommy, Mommy! Is this the way to make pickles?

Shut up and get back in the barrel!

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Mommy, Mommy! Daddy went through the meat grinder!

Shut up and eat your hamburger!

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Mommy, Mommy! How will we ever find Daddy on this golf course?

Shut up and search the sand traps!

Mommy, Mommy! I've lost my fingers!

Shut up and eat your french fries!

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Mommy, Mommy! When will we have this nice yellow pudding again?

Shut up, you know that grandma's leg is no longer infested.

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Mommy, Mommy! Why is my hair so slimy?

Shut up, you little snot.

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Mommy, Mommy! I don't like Sister!

Shut up, and keep eating!

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Mommy, Mommy! I'd like to play marbles now!

Keep quiet, you can't use Grandpa's glass eye today!