sick jokes

Mommy, Mommy! Why do I have to hop everywhere?

Shut up or I'll chop off the other leg!

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Mommy, Mommy! Grandma's got a bruise.

Shut up and eat around it!

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Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all your scabs?

Shut up and eat your cornflakes!

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Mommy, Mommy! What's in those CARE packages they send to Africa?

Shut up and get back in the box!

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Mommy, Mommy! The teacher says I look like a monkey!

Shut up and comb your face!

Mommy, Mommy! What's a werewolf?

Shut up and comb your face!

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Mommy, Mommy! Billy won't let go of my ear.

Billy, let go of Susie's ear.

Billy! Let go of her ear!

All right Billy, give me the ear.

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Mommy, Mommy! I hate daddy's guts.

Well, just leave them on the side of the plate.

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Mommy, Mommy! Why is daddy so pale?

Shut up and keep digging.

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Mommy, Mommy! I don't like grandpa.

Well, just push him aside and eat your beans.

Mommy, Mommy! Grandpa's going out!

Well throw some more gasoline on him then.

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Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to go to Australia.

Shut up son and keep swimming.

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Mommy, Mommy! Why are we pushing the car off the cliff?

Shut up son, you'll wake your father.

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Mommy, Mommy! I keep running in circles.

Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.

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Mommy, Mommy! Why's everybody running?

Shut up and reload.

Mommy, Mommy! Why is Daddy zigzagging in the yard?

Shut up and shoot again!

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Mommy, Mommy! I don't wanna visit grandma!

Shut up and keep digging.

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Mommy, Mommy! Can I lick the bowl?

Shut up and flush.

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Mommy, Mommy! I'm sick of learning how to swim!

Shut up or I'll flush it again!

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Mommy, Mommy! It's cold and dark and damp down here.

Shut up or I'll flush it again.