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Sexuality


friendly neighbors
A blond was taking a shower when the doorbell rang. Her husband, in the bathroom downstairs, yells for her to get the door. She throws a towel on and runs down to open the door. It was their Chinese neighbor, Way Hung. He says to the blonde, "If you drop your towel, I will give you $500, so she drops her towel. Keeping his promise, Way Hung gives her the money he owes her and leaves. The blonde closes the door and goes back to the bathroom. Her husband asks her, "Who was that? The blonde replies, "Oh, that was our Chinese neighbor. I don't know what he wanted though. Her husband then asks, "Did he mention anything about the $500 he owes me?"
froggie proposal
A man had a very small penis, so he went to a witch to make it longer. She said, “Go into the forest and ask the toad there to marry you, each time it says no, your penis will grow one inch.” Happy, the man ran to the forest and started yelling, “Froggie, Froggie, will you marry me?” The frog, of course, replied, “No,” andthe man's penis grew one inch. So he repeated this again, “Froggie, Froggie, will you marry me?” The frog yelled back, “NO!”
After a couple times more, the frog was getting mad, but the man decided one more time and one more inch wouldn't hurt, so he yelled again, “Froggie, Froggie, will you marry me?” And the exasperated frog said, “I've told you onceand I've told you a million times, no!”
from cradle to ladle
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So, he sat down and wrote, "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But, the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Julie. But, the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love, Mom.

Lesson of the day: Don't lie to your mother.

frosty
Q. Why was Frosty smiling?

A. He saw the snowblower coming.


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