Sexuality

White House staffers were perplexed one morning to see Bill Clinton walk into the Oval Office with a pair of woman's panties pinned to his arm. Somewhat used to the president's tendencies, they let it go and went about their daily tasks.

As the day wore on, several VIPs were ushered in and out of the Oval Office for meetings with Clinton about important affairs of the state. Each one left with a puzzled expression on his face, but no one dared ask the President's personal business.

Finally, Betty Currie, Clinton's loyal secretary walked into the office between appointments and gently closed the door behind her. "Mr. President," she said.

"We've come to expect many unusual things from you but we're all quite concerned that you seem to be wearing a pair of woman's panties on your arm. Please tell me this doesn't mean more 'trouble'."

"Oh no," the President grinned, "it's the patch. I'm trying to quit."

They don't work until they're turned on.

One day the women was boasting about her parrot's prayers. An older gentleman was simply amazed by this. 'I have a female parrot and she's just terrible. My son raised her and all she does is curse. She's the most foul mouthed creature I've ever heard,' he sighed. 'Maybe if we put my parrot with your parrot he would teach mine how to pray and stop cursing so much.'

The woman readily agreed to this and a few days later the gentleman brought his parrot by. The woman's parrot sat praying in the bottom of the cage as they placed the female inside with him. The parrot instantly stopped praying, hopped up, looked the female over and shouted, 'Hot damn!! This is what I've been praying for!!'