Sexuality

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Sexuality


bird and bloke
 
 
Bloke: Would you shag me for a million pounds?

Bird: Yes.

Bloke: Would you shag me for a fiver?

Bird: No, what do you take me for?

Bloke: I've already figured that one out. I'm just figuring out the price.
girls and planes
 
 
Q: What does a girl and a plane have in common?

A: They both have cockpits.
bring your daughter to work day
 
 
A man comes home with his little daughter, whom he has just taken to work. The little girl asks, "I saw you in your office with your secretary. Why do you call her a doll?"

Feeling his wife's gaze upon him, the man explains, "Well, honey, my secretary is a very hard-working girl. She types like you wouldn't believe, she knows the computer system and is very efficient."

"Oh," says the little girl, "I thought it was because she closed her eyes when you lay her down on the couch."

the golden mug
 
 
A guy walked into a bar and saw a golden mug on a shelf above the bartender and it said “Win this...free beer for LIFE!” The man walked up to the bartender and asked “how do I win this golden mug?” The bartender replied, “See that drunken man over there? Knock him out in one punch. See that dog? He has a toothache but noone can get the tooth out. Take the tooth out. See that old lady? She hasn't been screwed in a while so...screw her.”

The man walks over to the drunk man and knocks him out with one punch. Then, he goes over to the dog and brings him into the back alley. The bartender hears some noises and then the man comes back in with a pair of pliers and says, “Where's the old lady with a toothache?”


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