Sexuality

The man sweeps her up in his arms, looks into her eyes, and tosses her into the water yelling, "You're screwed now!!"

The mother was curious, so she asked her child where she got the five dollars from.

The little girl replied, 'Tommy down the street gave me five dollars for doing cartwheel while he sat in the tree.

The mother told her daughter, "Don't you know that Tommy is just trying to see your panties."

'OOOOhhhh' said the little girl.

The next day the little girl came running into the house yelling, "Mommy, I got ten dollars. The mother asked, "Where did you get the ten dollars from?"

The little girl replied, "Tommy down the street gave me ten dollars for doing a cartwheel while he sat up in the tree and laughed."

The mother replied, "Didn't I tell you that he is...'

Before the mother could finish, the little girl said, 'Wait Mommy. I tricked him, I didn't wear any panties today.'

The guy says, 'Who is this?'

'This is the maid,' answers the woman.

'We don't have a maid,' says the man.

The woman says, 'I was hired this morning by the lady of the house.'

The man says, 'Well, this is her husband. Is she there?'

The woman replies, 'She is upstairs in the bed room with someone who I figured was her husband.'

The guy is fuming and says to the maid, 'Listen, would you like to make $50,000?'

The maid says, 'What will I have to do?'

The man tells her, 'I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the witch and the jerk she's with.'

The maid puts the phone down; the man hears footsteps and then two gun shots.

The maid comes back to the phone, 'What do I do with the bodies?'

The man says, 'Throw them in the swimming pool.'

Puzzled, the maid answers, 'But you don't have a pool.'

A long pause and the man says, 'Is this 567-5309?'

When she got to the hardware store, got the hinge, and put it on the counter in fornt of the clerk. He noticed that she didn't have any screws for it, so he asked her 'Do you want a screw for that hinge?'

She looked back at him and said 'No, but I'll blow you for that toaster in the window.'