science jokes

'Lectropositive Mama
(tune, Lady Madonna)

'Letropositive mama,
Cesium on your meat,
Wonder how you manage,
To stay on your feet.

How d'ya stand the smokin'?
How d'ya 'bide the flame?
Do you think that life's just
A burnin' game.

Monday night your hunger's a blue fire,
Tuesday morn' you're cookin' 'fore the sun.
Wednesday rain, you're only flamin' higher,
Having your fun.

'Lectropositive mama,
Cinders in your curls,
No way can compare you,
To ordinary girls.

Likin' the explosions,
Rock you on your seat.
How can any woman handle
All that heat?

---Songs of Cesium #47

It's So Easy
(Tune, It's so Easy)

It's with Cesium I'm in love!
It's with Cesium I'm in love!

People say that I'm a fool,
When I take my Cesium into the pool.
And it's so easy,
So doggone easy,
Yes it's so easy,
Where my love's concerned,
To get myself burned.

But it's with Cesium I'm in love,
It's with Cesium I'm in love!

I look into her flame and see,
A sky-blue light floodin' over me.
Though it's so easy,
So doggone easy,
Yeah it's so easy,
When she's concerned,
To get myself burned.
Still it's with Cesium I'm in love,
It's with Cesium I'm in love!

---Songs of Cesium #87

Cesium (All through the Night)
(Tune, Fever)

(1)
Never know how much I need you,
Never know how much I'd dare,
When I mix you up with water,
I get a heat that's hard to bear.

I need my Cesium!
Burnin' brightly,
Cesium to give me light.
Cesium --
In the morning,
Cesium all through the night.

(2)
Sun lights up the daytime.
Moon lights up the night.
Cesium lights up heaven above,
With a brilliant sky-blue light.

I need my Cesium!
Burnin' hotly.
Cesium shinin' so bright.
Cesium --
In the morning,
Cesium to make me feel right.

(Coda)
Everybody,
Needs some Cesium,
Cesium to give 'em that glow.
Cesium --
Add some water,
Get a fire hot as down below!

(3)
Romeo, he had Cesium,
Cool water Juliette.
When they mixed it up together,
Things got as hot as they can get!

They needed Cesium!
Flamin' madly.
Cesium burnin' so blue.
Cesium --
Shared between them.
Cesium to make their love true.

(4)
Come to the end of my story.
Got to the point that I made.
Cesium's the stuff to heat you up,
And you ain't gonna find no shade!

You'll need cesium!
As you sizzle.
Cesium some comfort to earn.
Cesium --
It's almighty.
What a lovely way to burn!

--- Songs of Cesium #96

Cesium Glows
(Tune, Love's a Rose - Neil Young)

Cesium glows, but you better not lick it,
It's fire grows when it's on the tongue.
Lips full of holes, you'll know you've kissed it,
Just take a bite if you want to die young.

I want to see what's never been seen,
I want to dream that Cesium dream.
Come on love, we can glow together,
Let's eat it all right now.
Take a bite right now.

I want to lie in a hole in the ground,
Six feet deep, and twelve feet 'round.
Sky blue light around me shinin',
Pale blue worms upon me dinin'.

Cesium glows, but you better not lick it,
It's fire grows when its on your tongue.
Mouth full of holes if ever you kiss it,
Gimme a spoon 'cause I wanna die Young.

---Songs of Cesium #109