science jokes

Cesium (Burning in the Dead of Night)
(Tune, Blackbird)

Cesium burning in the dead of night.
Take your sky blue lines and start to shine.
All my life,
I was only waiting for the moment you were mine.

Cesium burning on a lake of ice.
Lift your glorious flame up to the skies.
All your life,
You were only waiting for some water to arise.

Cesium burn.
Cesium burn.
Give your light to this coal black night.

--- Songs of Cesium #133

Why Don't We Mix Up the Two

(Tune, "Why don't we get drunk..."
with apologies to Jimmy Buffett)

I've got a pound of Cesium,
It's burning gently near.
The sky-blue flame looks lovely,
But it's noise I want to hear.
So darlin' bring some water,
A couple pints'll do.
And why don't we mix up the two?

Why don't we mix up the two?
'Cause Cesium and water,
Really make a wicked brew.
You say I've got a death wish,
But honey, I'm just blue.
So why don't we mix up the two?

---Songs of Cesium #29

Yesterday,
I had Cesium with which to play.
Now all my fingers have been blown away.
And silence reigns since yesterday.

Suddenly,
I'm just half the man I used to be.
I have no eyes with which to see.
My legs have parted company.

Why she had to blow,
I don't know,
I can only say.
Something went awful wrong,
In the waterbed where we lay.

Yesterday,
Her sky blue path seemed such an easy way.
Now I know there is a price to pay.
Oh, I believed just yesterday.

---Songs of Cesium #117

'Lectropositive Mama
(tune, Lady Madonna)

'Letropositive mama,
Cesium on your meat,
Wonder how you manage,
To stay on your feet.

How d'ya stand the smokin'?
How d'ya 'bide the flame?
Do you think that life's just
A burnin' game.

Monday night your hunger's a blue fire,
Tuesday morn' you're cookin' 'fore the sun.
Wednesday rain, you're only flamin' higher,
Having your fun.

'Lectropositive mama,
Cinders in your curls,
No way can compare you,
To ordinary girls.

Likin' the explosions,
Rock you on your seat.
How can any woman handle
All that heat?

---Songs of Cesium #47