school jokes for kids

Little Monster: I hate my teacher.
Mother Monster: Well just eat your salad up then dear!

"What's the matter with your dinner?"
"Can you describe it for me please in case I need to tell my doctor later what I've eaten!"

Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood, he had to walk 7 miles to school everyday.
Well he should have got up earlier and caught the school bus like everyone else!

A math joke
Dad, can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem please?
Don't tell me that they haven't found it yet, I remember looking for it when I was a boy!

Teacher: What came after the stone age and the bronze age?
Pupil: The sausage!

Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!

What's a mushroom?
The place they store the school food!

Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow?
Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!

My teacher reminds me of history
She's always repeating herself!

A math joke
Teacher: Did your parents help you with these homework problems?
Pupil: No I got them all wrong by myself!

What kinds of tests do they give witches?
Hex-aminations!

Father: What did the teacher think of your idea?
Son: She took it like a lamb
Teacher: Really?, what did she say?
Son: Baa!

What do history teachers make when they want to get together?
Dates!

What do they talk about?
The good old days!

Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea?
Pupil: Dead?, I didn't even know he was sick!

Whose son was Edward, the Black Prince?
Old King Coal!

Father: How were the exam questions?
Son: Easy
Father: Then why look so unhappy?
Son: The questions didn't give me any trouble, just the answers!

Where was the Magna Carta signed?
At the bottom!

What are you going to be when you get out of school?
An old man!

What did you learn in school today?
Not enough, I have to go back tomorrow!

I'm learning ancient history?
So am I, lets go for a walk and talk over old times!