school collection 17
If Atlas supported the world on his shoulders, who supported Atlas?
His wife!
What's the moral of the story about Jonah and the whale?
You can't keep a good man down!
Who designed Noah's ark?
An ark-itect!
When did Caesar reign?
I didn't know he reigned. Of course he did, didn't they hail him?
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I left it in my shirt and my mother put it in the washing machine
His wife!
What's the moral of the story about Jonah and the whale?
You can't keep a good man down!
Who designed Noah's ark?
An ark-itect!
When did Caesar reign?
I didn't know he reigned. Of course he did, didn't they hail him?
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I left it in my shirt and my mother put it in the washing machine
school collection 18
Why was George Washington buried at Mount Vernon?
Because he was dead!
What did Napoleon become when he was 41 years old?
A year older on his birthday!
An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload. An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: My little sister ate it!
Bad timing for an excuse Teacher: Why were you late?
Pupil: Sorry, teacher, I overslept.
Teacher: It's three in the afternoon!
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked
Because he was dead!
What did Napoleon become when he was 41 years old?
A year older on his birthday!
An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload. An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: My little sister ate it!
Bad timing for an excuse Teacher: Why were you late?
Pupil: Sorry, teacher, I overslept.
Teacher: It's three in the afternoon!
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked
school collection 19
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I loaned it to a friend, but he suddenly moved away
Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year?
Pupil: 12 - 2nd January, 2nd February...!
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: Our furnace stopped working and we had to burn it to stop ourselves from freezing
Mother: What did you learn in school today
Son: How to write
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!
Where did knights learn to kill dragons?
At knight school!
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I loaned it to a friend, but he suddenly moved away
Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year?
Pupil: 12 - 2nd January, 2nd February...!
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: Our furnace stopped working and we had to burn it to stop ourselves from freezing
Mother: What did you learn in school today
Son: How to write
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!
Where did knights learn to kill dragons?
At knight school!
school collection 20
Teacher: Where is the English Channel?
Pupil: I don't know, my TV doesn't pick it up
Teacher: This is the third time I've had to tell you off this week, what have you got to say about that?
Pupil: Thank heavens it's Friday!
Teacher: Didn't you hear me call you?
Pupil: But you said not to answer you back!
What tables don't you have to learn?
Dinner tables!
Why was the headmaster worried?
Because there were too many rulers in school!
Pupil: I don't know, my TV doesn't pick it up
Teacher: This is the third time I've had to tell you off this week, what have you got to say about that?
Pupil: Thank heavens it's Friday!
Teacher: Didn't you hear me call you?
Pupil: But you said not to answer you back!
What tables don't you have to learn?
Dinner tables!
Why was the headmaster worried?
Because there were too many rulers in school!
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