school jokes for kids

What kind of food do maths teachers eat?
Square meals!

The food in our school canteen is perfect.
If your a bug!

An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: Our puppy toilet trained on it

A history joke
How did Columbus's men sleep on their ships?
With their eyes shut!

How did the boy feel after being caned?
Absolutely whacked!

What's black and white all over and difficult?
An exam paper!

A history joke
Why aren't you doing very well in history?
Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!

A history joke
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!

A history joke
The Spanish explorers went round the world in a galleon.
How many galleons did the get to the mile!

A history joke
What kind of lighting did Noah use for the ark?
Floodlights!

A history joke
What was King Arthur's favourite game?
Knights and crosses!

A history joke
Where was the Declaration of Independance signed?
At the bottom!

A history joke
Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt?
Yes, the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah's court!

A history joke
Wish I had been born 1000 years ago!

Why is that?
Just think of all the history that I wouldn't have to learn!

A history joke
Did the Native Americans hunt bear!

Not in the winter!

A math joke
If there are ten cats in a boat and one jumps out, how many are left?
None, they were all copycats!

A history joke
What does the 1286BC incribed on the mummy's tomb indicate?
The registration of the car that ran him over!

Father: How do you like going to school?
Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!

A history joke
Who succeeded the first President of the USA?
The second one!

A math joke
Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus 4?
Class: At once!