school jokes for kids

Mother: How was your first day at school?
Son: It was all right except for some man called "Teacher" who kept spoiling all our fun!

I'm not going back to school ever again
Why ever not?
The teacher doesn't know a thing, all she does is ask questions!

Fred came home from his first day at school. "Nothing exciting happened", he told his mother, "Except the teacher didn't know how to spell cat so I told her"

What happens if you draw on the blackboard and the teacher told you not to?
She draws a smack!

Who was the biggest thief in history?
Atlas, he held up the whole world!

Pupil: I don't think I deserved zero on this test!

Teacher: I agree, but that's the lowest mark I could give you!

What did Noah do for a job?
He was an arkitecht!

What's that fly doing in my gravy?
Looks like the breast stroke!

Teacher: When do astronauts eat?
Pupil: At launch time!

Father: You were absent on the day of the test?
Son: No but the boy who sits next to me was!

Is that school food spicy?
No, smoke always comes out of my ears!

Why did George Washington chop down the cherry tree?
I'm stumped!

"It's clear" said the teacher, "That you haven't studied your geography. What's your excuse?" "Well, my dad says the world is changing every day . So I decided to wait until it settles down!"

An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I put it in a safe, but lost the combination!

Why do teachers use a bamboo cane?
Because when the cane goes 'bam' the child goes boo!