scary jokes

A ghost joke
What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
Watch the board and I'll go through it again!

A ghost joke
Who writes ghosts joke
s?
Crypt writers!

A vampire joke
Why did the vampire stand at the bus stop with a finger up his nose?
He was a ghoulsniffer!

A vampire joke
What's a vampire's favourite dance?
The vaults!

A ghost joke
What kind of street does a ghost like best?
A dead end!

A vampire joke
Where did vampires go to first in America?
New Fangland!

A vampire joke
Why are vampiress crazy?
Because they are often bats!

A wizard joke
What's the first thing that a wizard does in the morning?
He wakes up!

A wizard joke
What do you call a wizard who's black and blue all over?
Bruce!

A witch joke
Why do witches wear pointy black hats?
To keep their heads warm!

A wizard joke
What did the wizard say to his witch girlfriend?
Hello gore-juice!

A wizard joke
What do you get if you cross a river with an inflatable wizard?
To the other side!

A wizard joke
What do wizards stop for on the motorway?
Witchhikers!

A wizard joke
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a wizard?
Tyrannosaurus hex!

A wizard joke
Why did the wizard wear a yellow robe to the Halloween party?
He was going as a banana!

A wizard joke
What do wizards do to get their kicks?
They drool over the pictures in "witch" magazine!

A wizard joke
What do you call a wizard who lies on the floor?
Matt!

A wizard joke
What do you call a wizard who has fallen into the sea on a barrel?
Bob!

A wizard joke
What must a wizard be to receive a state funeral?
Dead!

A wizard joke
What would happen if you threw lots of eggs at a wizard?
He would be egg-sterminated!

A wizard joke
What happened when the wizard turned a boy into a hare?
He's still rabbiting on about it!

A wizard joke
What happened to the stupid wizard who put in his false teeth back to front?
He ate himself!

A wizard joke
What do you call a wizard lying in the gutter?
Dwayne!

A witch joke
Why do witches have stiff joints?
They get broomatism!

A wizard joke
What happened to the wizard who brushed his teeth with gunpowder?
He kept shooting his mouth off!

A witch joke
What's evil and ugly and goes up and down all day?
A witch stuck in a lift!

A witch joke
Why didn't the witch sing at the concert?
Because she had a frog in her throat!

A witch joke
What do you get if you cross a witch and an iceberg?
A cold spell!