scary jokes

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scary jokes


scary collection 05
A ghost joke
What do ghosts say when a girl footballer is sent off?
Ban-she Ban-she!

A vampire joke
What do vampires have at eleven o'clock every day?
A coffin break!

A witch joke
Why did the baby witch smile when she came out in blotches?
Because it was an 'appy rash!

A Halloween joke
Why was the little boy unhappy to win first prize for the best costume at the Halloween party?
Because he just came to pick up his sister!

A cannibal joke
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson?
He thought he would give him a paunch!

A witch joke
Why did the witch wear a green felt pointy hat?
So she could walk across snooker tables without being seen!

A witch joke
What has six legs and flies?
A witch giving her cat a ride!

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A witch joke
What has handles and flies?
A witch in a dustbin!

A cannibal joke
Why don't cannibals eat weathermen?
Because they give them wind!

A witch joke
What is evil and ugly and bounces?
A witch on a trampoline!

A Halloween joke
What do stupid kids do at Halloween?
They carve a face on an apple and go bobbing for pumpkins!

A witch joke
Why did the witch put her broom in the wash?
She wanted a clean sweep!

A ghost joke
What are little ghosts dressed in when it rains?
Boo-ts and ghoul-oshes!

A vampire joke
How does a vampire like his food served?
In bite sized pieces!

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A witch joke
Why did the stupid witch keep her clothes in the fridge?
She liked to have something cool to slip into in the evenings!

A cannibal joke
What happened when the cannibals ate a comedian?
They had a feast of fun!

A ghost joke
What do you call a ghost's mother and father?
Transparents!

A vampire joke
Who plays centre forward for the vampire football team?
The ghoulscorer!

A witch joke
Why did the witch give up fortune telling?
There was no future in it!

A Halloween joke
Why was everyone tickled by the fried chicken at the Halloween party?
Because the feathers were still on the chicken!

A witch joke
What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital?
With any luck you'll soon be well enough to get up for a spell!

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A ghost joke
What was written on the hypochondriac's tombstone?
"I told you I was ill"!

A vampire joke
What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail?
I don't know but it would slow him down!

A witch joke
How did the witch almost lose her baby?
She didn't take it far enough into the woods!

A cannibal joke
What did the cannibal mum say to her son who was chasing a missionary?
''Stop playing with your food''!

A witch joke
What do witches race on?
Vroomsticks!

A Halloween joke
How do you get the most apples when bobbing at Halloween Wear a snorkel!

A witch joke
What's a cold, evil candle called?
The wicked wick of the north!


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