So they don't crap on the street during parades!
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.
A priest started to talk to him and just as he was asking him why he stole the money the robber heard sirens. He shot the priest and moments later then the police shot the robber.
Somehow there was a mix up; the robber went to heaven and the priest went to hell.
Luckily, they found the mistake and when they were changing places, they both met in the middle.
The priest said to him, "I cant wait until I meet the Virgin Mary!"
The robber said, "She's not a virgin anymore."
"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out."
He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said:
"Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"
The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: "I thought we had a deal."
The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."
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