A: Not unless there is a special need to recreate you. And searching backup files is a major hassle, so if there is a request for you, God will just say that the tape has been lost.
Q: Am I unique and special in the universe?
A: There are over 10,000 major university and corporate sites running exact duplicates of you in the present release version.
Q: What is the purpose of the universe?
A: God created it because he values elegance and simplicity, but then the users and managers demanded he tack senseless features onto it and now everything is more complicated and expensive than ever.
Q: If I pray to God, will he listen?
A: You can waste his time telling him what to do, or you can just get off his back and let him program.
Q: What is the one true religion?
A: All systems have their advantages and disadvantages, so just pick the one that best suits your needs and don't let anyone put you down. Q
: How can I protect myself from evil?
A: Change your password every month and don't make it a name, a common word, or a date like your birthday.
Q: Some people claim they hear the voice of God. Is this true?
A: They are much more likely to receive e-mail from god.
Q: Some people say God is Love. A: That is not a question. Please restate your query in the form of a question.
The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle aged and the third couple was newly married.
Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister.
The retired couple said it was no problem at all.
The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that it was no problem.
The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint.
'Can of PAINT!' exclaimed the minister.
'Yeah,' said the newlywed man. 'She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over.'
The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church.
'That's okay,' said the man. 'We're not welcome in Home Depot either.'
Man 1: Please God, I can't count how many times I cheated on my wife. There were just too many beautiful women on Earth, and I had to have them all.
God: I am ashamed of you, my man, For that, I give you a run-down truck that barely moves.
Man 2: Dear God, please forgive me! I cheated on my wife once, just once! We were going through problems and I took the wrong turn. Please forgive me!
God: My man, I am ashamed of you too. But I will be kinder to you. For that, I give you a convertible BMW.
Man 3: Dear God, you will be so proud of me. I loved and worshipped my wife. I brought her roses everyday after work, I brought her gifts every aniversary, and we went travelling, and had dinner out three times a week, and...
God: Okay, my man, enough! I get the point. I am very proud of you! For that, I give you any car you desire!
Two weeks later Man 1 and 2 are driving on the freeway when they see Man 3 ahead of them, stopped in the middle of the road in his Black Jaguar.
Man 1 and 2: Hey Man! Why are you sitting in your car and crying your eyes out? You're acting like some ungrateful bugger! Look at your car, man! What is your problem?!
Man 3: "I just saw my wife on rollerskates!"
The first man was deaf and God asked him, 'Can I help you, son?' The man started signing in sign language that he would be so happy if only he could hear. So God touched the man and suddenly he could hear.
God then asked the second man, who was blind, 'What can I do for you, my son?'
The second man said, 'Oh God, if I could only see I would be so happy.' So God touched him and the man was able to see.
Meanwhile, the third man was sitting in his wheelchair with his mouth wide open in amazement. God looked at the man and asked him what he wanted.
The man stepped back and yelled, 'Don't lay one finger on me, God, I am on total disability!'
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