At the funeral, the priest looks skyward and says, "At last they're finally together."
A guy sitting in the front row says, "Excuse me Father, but do you mean her and her first husband, or her and her second husband?"
"I mean her legs!"
"Leave us alone you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by. From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash.
"Do you think," said one clergy to the other, "we should just put up a sign that says 'Bridge Out' instead?"
"What's the problem, Eve?" God asks her.
"Lord," she says, "I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples," she says.
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you," the good Lord tells her.
"What's a 'man', Lord?" she inquires.
"This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressivetendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly. All in all, he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger and faster and more muscular than you. He'll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about and hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not altogether bad in the sack."
"Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.
"Yeah, well. He's better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick. But, you can have him on one condition."
"What's that, Lord?" she asks.
"You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."
"Why?"
"As soon as gets to a party, he rids it of all the spirits."
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