Religion

She didn't win.

So the next day she was about to lose her business and her car. She went to the church to pray: "God, if I don't win the lotto, I will lose my business and my car."

Still, she didn't win.

So the next day she was about to lose her buisness, her car and her house. She went to the church to pray: "God, if I don't win the lotto, I will loose my business, my car and my house."

Then suddenly the blonde was surrounded by a blinding white light, and she heard the booming voice of God declare, "Buy a ticket."

Despite the strumpet's aggressive offers to fellate him, the Pontiff maintained his holiness and prayed nightly for her soul.

The next Sunday he goes to the same church and pleads with God through his prayers to let him win the lottery so that he can pay these people back.

The next Sunday comes around and Shane enters the church very upset and close to tears, he kneels at the alter and asks why God is doing this to him and say's that he has asked to win the lottery for three weeks now and nothing. Suddenly there came a loud bang of thunder and God spoke, "Shane, meet me halfway: Buy a damn ticket!"

The pastor drove about 40 miles away from town to avoid being spotted. As he was setting up his first drive on the first hole, Jesus leaned over to God in heaven and asked him, "Are You going to let him get away with this?" God told Jesus not to worry, he would handle it. Right as God said that, the preacher hit the drive of his life. The ball traveled all 450 feet to the green, bounced once, and rolled in the hole. The preacher was ecstatic. Jesus asked God,"Why would you let him do that?"
God said, "Because, who is he gonna tell?"