Religion

What do you call a lesbian with ten girlfriends?

A Bush Hog

A nun at a Catholic school is asking her students what they want to be when they grow up. Little Mary declares, "I want to be a prostitute." "What did you say?" asks the nun. "I said I want to be a prostitute," Mary repeats. "Oh, thank heavens," says the nun. "I thought you said a Protestant!"

A zebra went up to the zookeeper and said, "Am I a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes." The zookeeper looks at the zebra with a puzzling look and says, "I don't know why don't you go ask God." The zebra then went to ask God who said "You are what you are, young zebra." So the zebra went back to the zookeper who asks the zebra what God had said. The zebra replied, "God said 'you are what you are." The zookeeper then said, "Well then you must be a white zebra with black stripes because if you were a black zebra with whites stripes, God would have said, "You is what you is."

A minister wound up the services one morning by saying, 'Next Sunday I am going to preach on the subject of liars. And in this connection, as a preparation for my discourse, I would like you all to read the seventeenth chapter of Mark'.

On the following Sunday, the preacher rose to begin and said, 'Now, then, all of you who have done as I requested and read the seventeenth chapter of Mark, please raise your hands.'

Nearly every hand in the congregation went up.

Then said the preacher, 'You are the people I want to talk to. There is no seventeenth chapter of Mark.'