Religion

Why did God give women belly buttons?

For somewhere to stash your gum on the way down.

The priest and the rabbi were on a plane flying across the ocean when the plane developed engine trouble. Everyone was doomed. The priest turned to the rabbi and said, "Before I die there's something that I would like to know. You being Jewish and all -- have you ever tasted ham?"

"Well," the rabbi laughed, "sure I've tasted ham. But tell me father, before we die -- could you tell me if you have ever made love to a woman?"

The priest blushed and said, "There was this one time I gave in and made love to a woman."

The rabbi looked at the priest and said, "Beats the hell out of ham, don't it?"

A Jewish guy's mother gave him two sweaters for Hanukkah. The next time he visited her, he made sure to wear one.

As he walked into the house, his mother frowned and said, "What's the matter? You didn't like the other one?"

Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, an angel tells Davidson, "Well, you've been such a good guy and your motorcycles have changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want to in Heaven." Davidson thinks about it and says, "I wanna hang out with God, Himself."

The befeathered fellow at the gates takes Arthur to the Throne Room and introduces him to God. Arthur then asks God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of Woman?" God says, "Ah, yes." "Well," says Davidson, "You have some major design flaws in your invention: One, there's too much front-end protrusion Two, it chatters at high speeds. Three, the rear end wobbles too much. Four, the intake is placed too close to the exhaust."

"Hmmm..." replies God, "hold on." God goes to the Celestial Supercomputer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the result. The computer prints out a slip of paper and God reads it. "It may be that my invention is flawed," God tells Arthur Davidson, "but according to My Computer, more people are riding my invention than yours."