Religion

Q: What is every Amish woman's fantasy?

A: Two menanite

God was talking to Adam one day when Adam begins to lament. "God I'm lonely, I need a companion?" God replies, "Adam, I have the perfect person for you, she's beautiful, she's generous, and she'll be yours forever" "Adam, excited about the news begins to thank God over and over.sound great, but then stops and asks God, "Wait a minute, how much is she going to cost me?" "An arm and a leg," God replied jokingly. "That's pretty steep" said Adam, "What can I get for a rib?"

Yo mama so dumb, she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.

The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven where he's met by a reception committee of angels. After a whirlwind tour, The Pope is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available.

He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, so he spends the next eon or so learning the languages.

After becoming a linguistic master, he sits down in the library and begins to pour over every version of the Bible, working back from the most recent "Easy Reading" to the original handwritten script.

The angel librarian hears a loud scream, and goes running toward its source only to find the Pope huddled in a chair, shaking and crying.

"The R! They left out the R!"

"What do you mean?" the angel librarian asks.

After collecting his wits, the Pope sobs again, "The word was supposed to be CELEBRATE!"