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Religion


nun vs. woman
 
 
What's the difference between a nun on her knees in a church, and a woman on her knees in a bathtub?

The nun has hope in her soul and the woman has soap in her hole.
dubya & moses' face time
 
 
George W. Bush was getting off of Airforce One in Israel, when he walked passed Moses, who didn't seem to notice him. He turned to Moses and said, "I am George W. Bush, the President of the US of A, the most powerful nation on earth. Why didn't you greet me?"

Moses replied, "The last time I spoke to a bush, we starved for 40 days!"

pope + hooker = mirth
 
 
Did you hear the one about the Pope and the smokin'-hot hooker?

Despite the strumpet's aggressive offers to fellate him, the Pontiff maintained his holiness and prayed nightly for her soul.

three couples, no sex
 
 
Three couples went in to see the minister about becoming new members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went.

The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle aged and the third couple was newly married.

Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister.

The retired couple said it was no problem at all.

The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that it was no problem.

The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint.

'Can of PAINT!' exclaimed the minister.

'Yeah,' said the newlywed man. 'She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over.'

The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church.

'That's okay,' said the man. 'We're not welcome in Home Depot either.'


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