Religion

A nun doing sit-ups in a cucumber field.

The other man says, 'I have to give you a test first.'

The man coming into heaven says, 'Oh jeez I'm not too good at tests!'

The other man says, 'Spell LOVE' The man spells it, and he is let into heaven.

Then a woman comes floating up and says, 'Please let me into heaven,' and the man replies, 'Only if you pass this test.'

The woman says, 'Oh no, I'm not very good at tests.'

The man says, 'Your test is to spell LOVE.'

She spells it correctly, and is let into heaven.

The next person that comes floating up is the man's wife. She says, 'OK honey, let me in to heaven.'

The man says, 'I have to give everyone a test before I let them in to heaven.'

She says, 'OK, make it an easy one!!!'

Then the man says, 'Spell Hemorrhoid.'

"What's the problem, Eve?" God asks her.

"Lord," she says, "I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.

"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples," she says.

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you," the good Lord tells her.

"What's a 'man', Lord?" she inquires.

"This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressivetendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly. All in all, he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger and faster and more muscular than you. He'll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about and hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not altogether bad in the sack."

"Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, well. He's better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick. But, you can have him on one condition."

"What's that, Lord?" she asks.

"You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."