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west virginia custody battle
The scene was a tiny mountain village in a remote section of West Virginia. An old mountaineer and his young wife were getting a divorce in the local court, but custody of the children was a problem.

The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The old mountaineer also wanted custody of the children.

The judge asked for his side of the story and, after a long moment of silence, the mountaineer slowly rose from his chair and said, "Judge, when I put a quarter in a candy machine and a candy bar comes out, does it belong to me or the machine?"

west virginia state flower
What's the state flower of West Virginia?

A satellite dish.

west virginian women
What do you call 32 West Virginian women in one room?

A full set of teeth.
what a gasser
A young man goes home from a war to see his mother in the hills of West Virginia. She has never left the hills and has never seen anything like her son's uniform or gun. He shows his mother both items, then she asks about the grenades on his belt.

He says,"'Well, you pull the pin and throw it."

She still doesn't quite get it, so he decides to demonstrate and throws it into the backyard.

The outhouse blows up and his mother cries, "Son you shouldn't have done that! Your father was in there."

And out crawls his father, all covered in dirt. He looks over at the hole and says, "Good thing I didn't let that off in the house."


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