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the fish-eating competition
One day some fisherman caught tons of fish called tench. The fisherman couldn't eat them all so they gave them to the Mayor of the town. The Mayor wasn't sure what to do with them. Then he had an idea; he would have a fish-eating competition.

When they had the competition, there were two finalists: a man from a place called Fife, whose name was Mr. Hicks; and a man that was from Sweden, whose name is Sven.

So they had the final; the Mayor fired the starting pistol and they started eating the tench. No sooner had Mr. Hicks bitten the fish than one of his teeth fell out. He couldn't eat because of this so he stopped, but the Mayor refused to stop the competition. So Sven kept on eating and ended up eating nine of these tench fish.
The next day the headlines read: ONE TOOTH FREE FOR FIFE HICKS, SVEN ATE NINE TENCH!

the fishing spot
One day Bob and Bubba went fishing. They were catching a lot of fish so they wanted to figure out how to remember this part if the lake.

Bob said, 'I know. I can spit in the water!'

But Bubba said, ' No! How will we know it's your spit?'

They thought and thought and finally Bob said, ' I know. We can draw an 'X' right here on the side of the boat!'

But Bubba said 'No, no, Bob. That won't work! How will we know that we get the same boat next time?'

the housebroken redneck
You might be a redneck if when you walk the dog you both use the same bush.
the last southern virgin
What do you call a 12 year old girl from Louisiana who's a virgin?

Faster than her brothers.


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