Redneck

Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off of a nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.

A reporter strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.

"Young Giants Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he writes in his notebook.

"But I'm not a Giants fan," the little hero replies.

"Sorry, since we are in New York, I just assumed you were," says the reporter.

"Little Jets Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack," he writes in his notebook.

"I'm not a Jets fan either," the boy says.

"I assumed everyone in New York was either for the Giants or Jets. What team do you root for?" the reporter asks.

"I'm a Cowboys fan," the child says.

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Redneck Maniac Kills Beloved Family Pet".

Two good ol' boys were driving down the road when they needed some gas. After a while, they saw a sign that read "Free Sex with Fill-up." They decided to pull in and asked the attendant for a full tank. After he was done, they paid and the attendant started to walk away.
"Wait," the driver yelled, "what about my free sex?" The attendant rolled his eyes and came back to the car.
"Okay, but you will have to guess a number between 1 and 10."
"6."
"No, the answer was 3. Sorry." As the attendant started to walk off, the passenger asked to guess. The attendant agreed.
"7."
"No, I told you the answer was 3." The driver then sped off.
"I think that game was rigged," said the passenger. "There is no way to win.'
"Uh-uh," the driver said. "My wife won three times last week."

Q: What do you get when you line up 12 girls from Kentucky?

A: A full set of teeth.

Once there were two best friends, named Fred and DooDah. They were old fishing buddies, and one day headed out to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the lake, DooDah hooked a huge fish, which proceeded to pull him overboard, where he drowned a horrible watery death. Fred was brokenhearted, since DooDah was his best friend. But sad as he was, he realized that he would have to tell DooDah's wife the terrible news. He thought long and hard, but just couldn't think of the right words. Finally, he took a deep breath and knocked on her door. DooDah's wife opened the door and heard Fred start singing:
"Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"