Redneck

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Redneck


wedding night
 
 
A woman from Alabama, who knew absolutely nothing about sex, fell in love with a man and agreed to marry him. The honeymoon went well and was great fun, but as soon as she got home, she went to see her doctor to question him on some of the new things she'd seen.

"What can I help you with?' he asked.

'Well first, what is that thing between my husband's legs called?'

'Ma'am,' he answered, 'that there is called a penis.'

'I see,' she said. 'Now what is the big thing on the end of the penis called?'

'Why that there is called the head of the penis.'

'I do declare!' exclaimed the young woman. 'One last question doctor, what are those two big round things about 12 to 14 inches behind the head of the penis?'

'I'm not sure about your husband, ma'am, but on me, they're called the cheeks of my ass!'

you might be a redneck if...toilet
 
 
You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard!
swinging redneck
 
 
How do you know when a redneck isn't wearing any underwear?

There's dandruff on his/her shoes.
redneck...ironing board
 
 
You might be a redneck if you use your ironing board as a buffet table.

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