Redneck jokes

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Redneck


wedding night
 
 
A woman from Alabama, who knew absolutely nothing about sex, fell in love with a man and agreed to marry him. The honeymoon went well and was great fun, but as soon as she got home, she went to see her doctor to question him on some of the new things she'd seen.

"What can I help you with?' he asked.

'Well first, what is that thing between my husband's legs called?'

'Ma'am,' he answered, 'that there is called a penis.'

'I see,' she said. 'Now what is the big thing on the end of the penis called?'

'Why that there is called the head of the penis.'

'I do declare!' exclaimed the young woman. 'One last question doctor, what are those two big round things about 12 to 14 inches behind the head of the penis?'

'I'm not sure about your husband, ma'am, but on me, they're called the cheeks of my ass!'

west virginia state flower
 
 
What's the state flower of West Virginia?

A satellite dish.

you might be a redneck if...dishwasher
 
 
You might be a redneck if you think loading the dishwasher means getting the wife drunk!
bad drivers
 
 
There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, 'Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!'

Herman says, 'I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!'


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