redneck jokes jokes

You might be a reneck if...

You have to check your coke can before you take a drink just in case you have mistaken it for your spit can.

You have accidentally taken a drink from your spit can.

Your wife asks you what you want to be when you grow up.

You see a forest fire and think 'Bar-bee-Q'.

You've ever strained your tea through a flyswatter.

Your mother is hairier than your father.

Instead of flossing you use a plunger.

You take the back window out of your pickup because it's easier to chuck the empty beer cans in the back that way.

When the back fills up with empty beer cans, you get another pickup and start all over again.

Your grandma can bench press a ruck axle.

You might be a reneck if...

You re-use dental floss to save money.

You've ever drunk mouthwash just because you're too lazy to walk down to the liquor store.

Your homecoming basketball game was rained out.

Your baseball bat "ain't never been used on a ball, but it's sure hit plenty of other things."

You've ever shot a mouse inside your home. You might be a redneck Jedi if...

Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.

You have ever used your lightsaber to open a bottle of Jack Daniel's.

You think the best use of your lightsaber is picking your teeth.

At least one wing of your X-Wing is Bondo colored.

There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.

You might be a redneck if...

You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a huntin' dog.

You're an expert on worm beds.

The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.

Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath!"

Your family tree does not fork.

The flood history of the area can be seen on your living room walls.

You haul more than U-Haul.

Your momma has ever stomped into the house and announced, "The feud is back on!"

There is a gun rack on your bicycle.

Your wedding was held in the delivery room.

You might be a redneck if...

Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.

Your wife's hairdo attracts bees.

Your baby's first words are "Attention K-Mart shoppers."

The antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

Your primary source of income is the pawn shop.

You pick your teeth from a catalog.

You've ever financed a tattoo.

You refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the "day my ship came in."

Your hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.

Your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.