redneck jokes

Redneck Driver's Application
Plez compleet this paper, best ya can.

Last name: ________________

First name:
[_] Billy-Bob   [_] Bobby-Sue
[_] Billy-Joe   [_] Bobby-Jo
[_] Billy-Ray   [_] Bobby-Ann
[_] Billy-Sue   [_] Bobby-Lee
[_] Billy-Mae   [_] Bobby-Ellen
[_] Billy-Jack  [_] Bobby-Beth Ann Sue

Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)
Sex: [_]M [_]F [_]None
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
Occupation:
[_] Farmer        [_] Mechanic
[_] Hair Dresser  [_] Waitress
[_] Un-employed   [_] Dirty Politician

Spouse's Name:     __________________________
2nd Spouse's Name: __________________________
3rd Spouse's Name: __________________________
Lover's Name:      __________________________
2nd Lover's Name:  __________________________

Relationship with spouse:
[_] Sister   [_] Aunt
[_] Brother  [_] Uncle
[_] Mother   [_] Son
[_] Father   [_] Daughter
[_] Cousin   [_] Pet

Number of children living in household: ___
Number of children living in shed:      ___
Number of children that are yours:      ___

Mother's Name: _______________________
Father's Name: _______________________

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
If you obtained a higher education what was your
major?
[_] 5th grade     [_] 6th grade

Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home?

Vehicles you own and where you keep them:
___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

Age you started drivin ______ (If over 10 are you
are still slow lerrnin ? [_] Yes [_] No)

Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck         ____ kitchen
____ bedroom       ____ bathroom/outhouse
____ shed          ____ pawnshop

Model and year of your pickup: _________ 194_

Do you have a gun rack?
[_] Yes [_] No; If no, please explain:

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
[_] The National Enquirer    [_] The Globe
[_] TV Guide                 [_] Soap Opera Digest
[_] Rifle and Shotgun        [_] Bassmasters

___ Number of times you've seen a UFO
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO

How often do you bathe:
[_] Weekly
[_] Monthly
[_] Not Applicable

How many teeth in YOUR mouth? ___
Color of teeth:
[_] Yellow  [_] Brownish-Yellow
[_] Brown   [_] Black
[_] N/A

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
[_] Red-Man                [_] Skoal

How far is your home from a paved road?
[_] 1 mile
[_] 2 miles
[_] don't know