high health care costs
Health care costs are rising uncontrollably across the world. In America, taxes have been on the rise just to pay for them.
In England, they have begun rationing health care services and in some cases they have waiting lists for services just to reduce costs even more. In fact, they now have a nine month waiting list for abortions.
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In England, they have begun rationing health care services and in some cases they have waiting lists for services just to reduce costs even more. In fact, they now have a nine month waiting list for abortions.
president carter's joke
In an interview with David Letterman, Carter passed along an anecdote of a translation problem in Japan. Carter was speaking at a business lunch in Tokyo, where he decided to open his speech with a brief joke.
He told the joke, then waited for the translator to announce the Japanese version. Even though the story was quite short, Carter was surprised by how quickly the interpreter was able to re-tell it. Even more impressive was the reaction from the crowd. Carter thought the story was cute, but not outright hilarious, yet the crowd broke right up. Carter was very flattered.
After the speech, Carter wanted to meet the translator to ask him how he told the joke. Perhaps there is better way to tell the joke?
When Carter asked how the joke had been told in Japanese, the translator responded, "I told them, 'President Carter has told a very funny joke. Please laugh now.'"
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He told the joke, then waited for the translator to announce the Japanese version. Even though the story was quite short, Carter was surprised by how quickly the interpreter was able to re-tell it. Even more impressive was the reaction from the crowd. Carter thought the story was cute, but not outright hilarious, yet the crowd broke right up. Carter was very flattered.
After the speech, Carter wanted to meet the translator to ask him how he told the joke. Perhaps there is better way to tell the joke?
When Carter asked how the joke had been told in Japanese, the translator responded, "I told them, 'President Carter has told a very funny joke. Please laugh now.'"
democrats republicans
1. Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere. Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group.
2. Republicans consume three-fourths of all the rutabaga produced in this country. The remainder is thrown out.
3. Republicans usually wear hats and always clean their paint brushes.
4. Democrats give their worn-out clothes to those less fortunate. Republicans wear theirs.
5. Republicans employ exterminators. Democrats step on the bugs.
6. Democrats name their children after currently-popular sports figures, politicians, and entertainers. Republican children are named after their parents or grandparents, according to where the money is.
7. Democrats keep trying to cut down on smoking but are not successful. Neither are Republicans.
8. Republicans tend to keep their shades drawn, although there is seldom any reason why they should. Democrats ought to, but don't.
9. Republicans study the financial pages of the newspaper. Democrats put them in the bottom of the bird cage.
10. Most of the stuff alongside the road has been thrown out of car windows by Democrats.
11. Republicans raise dahlias, Dalmatians, and eyebrows. Democrats raise Airedales, kids, and taxes.
12. Democrats eat the fish they catch. Republicans hang them on the wall.
13. Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel that they're entitled to a little fun first.
14. Democrats make plans and then do something else. Republicans follow the plans their grandfathers made.
15. Republicans sleep in twin beds--some even in separate rooms. That is why there are more Democrats.
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2. Republicans consume three-fourths of all the rutabaga produced in this country. The remainder is thrown out.
3. Republicans usually wear hats and always clean their paint brushes.
4. Democrats give their worn-out clothes to those less fortunate. Republicans wear theirs.
5. Republicans employ exterminators. Democrats step on the bugs.
6. Democrats name their children after currently-popular sports figures, politicians, and entertainers. Republican children are named after their parents or grandparents, according to where the money is.
7. Democrats keep trying to cut down on smoking but are not successful. Neither are Republicans.
8. Republicans tend to keep their shades drawn, although there is seldom any reason why they should. Democrats ought to, but don't.
9. Republicans study the financial pages of the newspaper. Democrats put them in the bottom of the bird cage.
10. Most of the stuff alongside the road has been thrown out of car windows by Democrats.
11. Republicans raise dahlias, Dalmatians, and eyebrows. Democrats raise Airedales, kids, and taxes.
12. Democrats eat the fish they catch. Republicans hang them on the wall.
13. Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel that they're entitled to a little fun first.
14. Democrats make plans and then do something else. Republicans follow the plans their grandfathers made.
15. Republicans sleep in twin beds--some even in separate rooms. That is why there are more Democrats.
strange american laws
from the book "Loony Laws" by Robert Pelton
In Ottumwa, Iowa, "It is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate limits of the (city), to wink at any female person with whom he is unaquainted."
In Los Angeles, you cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.
In Zion, Ill., it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals kept as pets. Kibo.
In Carmel, N.Y., a man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match. nj.
Attention Gooley: In Clawson, Mich., there is a law that makes it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
In Gary, Ind., persons are prohibited from attending a movie house or other theater and from riding a public streetcar within four hours of eating garlic.
In Miami, it's illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. Blair!
In St. Louis, it's illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. cj!
In Detroit, couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property. Jenine!
In Hartford, Conn., you aren't allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands.
In Michigan, a woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission. Gypsy!
In Baltimore, it's illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window within the city limits.It's also illegal to take a lion to the movies.
In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture. Gypsy?
In Nicholas County, W. Va., no member of the clergy is allowed to tell jokes or humerous stories from the pulpit during a church service.
In California, animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship. Gypsy.
In Pennsylvania, "any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue."
In Carrizozo, N.M., it's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public (includes legs and face). Gypsy!
In Los Angeles, a man is legally entitled to beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, but the belt can't be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his wife's consent to beat her with a wider strap. gypsy.
In Kentucky, "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club" gypsy
An amendment to the above legislation: "The provisions of this statuate shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds (gypsy), nor shall it apply to female horses."
In the United States, the federal government forces states to set speed limits of 55 miles per hour or less. This law was later ammedend to allow travel at 65 miles per hour but only on rural roads.
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In Ottumwa, Iowa, "It is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate limits of the (city), to wink at any female person with whom he is unaquainted."
In Los Angeles, you cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.
In Zion, Ill., it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals kept as pets. Kibo.
In Carmel, N.Y., a man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match. nj.
Attention Gooley: In Clawson, Mich., there is a law that makes it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
In Gary, Ind., persons are prohibited from attending a movie house or other theater and from riding a public streetcar within four hours of eating garlic.
In Miami, it's illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. Blair!
In St. Louis, it's illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. cj!
In Detroit, couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property. Jenine!
In Hartford, Conn., you aren't allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands.
In Michigan, a woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission. Gypsy!
In Baltimore, it's illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window within the city limits.It's also illegal to take a lion to the movies.
In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture. Gypsy?
In Nicholas County, W. Va., no member of the clergy is allowed to tell jokes or humerous stories from the pulpit during a church service.
In California, animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship. Gypsy.
In Pennsylvania, "any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue."
In Carrizozo, N.M., it's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public (includes legs and face). Gypsy!
In Los Angeles, a man is legally entitled to beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, but the belt can't be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his wife's consent to beat her with a wider strap. gypsy.
In Kentucky, "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club" gypsy
An amendment to the above legislation: "The provisions of this statuate shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds (gypsy), nor shall it apply to female horses."
In the United States, the federal government forces states to set speed limits of 55 miles per hour or less. This law was later ammedend to allow travel at 65 miles per hour but only on rural roads.
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